My evolving definition of what it is to be feminine.
Growing up, I associated being feminine purely on the physical. I would say, it pointed it down to how society and social media defined the feminine woman. It was limited to the way a woman was expected to look and that was to have a curvaceous body and proportional body parts, especially breasts and a butt. This definition challenged me, given that I am naturally slender and do not have much body fat (any fat would either be deposited on my cheeks or my belly..). Hence I always felt inadequate to this definition of being feminine. I also based my degree of femininity on how males would perceive me, and how attractive I was to them. Once again this was very externally driven and limited to the physical which did not serve me whatsoever.
It is only until now, at the age of 24 that I am finally comfortable, accepting and loving my energetic, fully functioning body. I am now defining the word feminine in a way that serves me and I hope I can extend your definition of what it is to be feminine also.
To me, being feminine is putting myself first, knowing what I deserve and giving myself, my body the best of things. I make sure to feed myself with the most amazing foods, foods that are most nutritious, energizing and healing. Food I know will repair and build my body, give me the energy I want to carry out my day, my purpose, to heal my PCOS, my skin, improve my gut and brain health and my immunity.
Having said that, it is just as important I feed myself with kind, loving and compassionate thoughts. Because,
where the mind goes the body follows.
And there is absolutely no point if you have a healthy body but not a healthy mind.
With every new day, work is to be done in this area. In the end, you are your own biggest critic but I have developed a way to treat myself as if I would to my best friend- supportive, kind and loving. This has really helped me instill self-belief, pursue things that resonates with me and I am a lot kinder to myself and have shut off a lot of the negative self-talk.
With this combination of feeding the body, mind with the best things, you begin to feel like the queen, the princess, the woman that you are.
Furthermore, I now associate being feminine to how well my body functions and listening to what my body wants, craves and needs. Most importantly I place my femininity on my menstrual cycle. Women, girls, we operate in cycles, and our energy levels, our moods ebb and flow. Its okay to not have energy every single day, not be as productive as you were week ago and now feeling inward instead of being social. Being in tune to your body’s signals is what makes me feel feminine and appreciative to the intricate chemical, feedback loops that exists within the body.
Having your period signals proper functioning. It signals alignment and that you are able to have children in the future.
It’s your natural rhythm, its life force.
You know girls, you can also be feminine through the way you speak, your tone, your smile and the words you choose to communicate. Speaking out of infinite love to anyone (and this doesn’t necessarily mean saying things like I love you to strangers) but just speaking with good intentions, you can feel closer to the feminine divine. You can also be feminine through the way you move your body. The way you carry yourself when you walk and move when you exercise, run, dance. I feel feminine when I run and when I am doing yoga sun salutations. I feel warmth, blood is flowing, air is circulating and feel very connected to my body. I also feel feminine when I dance, not needed for anyone but myself.
As women, we are well recognised for our nurturing and supportive qualities. Hence you can feel feminine by just surrounding yourself with the women in your life that genuinely support you, want the best things for you and help you evolve into the best version of yourself. Talking about our challenges, about our days to others also releases a feel-good hormone- oxytocin which is the general well-being hormone for women. In addition, it is important to be kind and compassionate to others, not see women as competition (we are all the same ladies) and to appreciate the qualities and the beauty that men bring for themselves as well.
Hence, my definition of what it is to be feminine has got nothing to do with the physical. My definition is about self-care, self-love, self-worth and being kind and compassionate to others. I hope you are able to take some of my insights on board and perhaps see being feminine in a much healthier light if your definition was previously limited to the physical just like mine.
Having said that, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be masculine if you are a woman. I find that I am more masculine when I am working in my current role- I get quite competitive and driven and that’s completely fine with me. We all come with both masculine and feminine traits and you can come up with whatever blends you like.
All woman are absolutely divine.
Please share this to any women you care about and would enjoy reading this.