Happy full, super, blood, blue, moon everyone. May you all manifest your desires, your dreams and encounter more blissful moments, situations and beautiful people in your life that align with your purpose, your love and your light. Sending love to you all 💕
I wrote this on the New Year.
Minutes before the new year transition, I discovered the one big lesson, the one big gem of 2017 that I could take away from 2017 and bring it into the new year.
I found Love. Now, I was never intentionally searching for it in people or things being fully aware to never rely on external means for love anyway. Love was sent to me in all sorts of forms throughout the year. I was taken on different journeys along with different people who came into my life, the ones who left and the ones who stayed. The ones who made me feel like I was the sun, the stars the moon and the ones who made me feel the opposite. Love was shown to me through my health conditions, my family struggles, my career and personal challenges. Love was never very far from any of them. I lacked love within myself. I chose to put up with people and situations who didn’t treat me well, made the same mistakes, and harmed myself during the process. We’ve been brought up to believe that love is precious, love is rare. But this never has been true. I have come to the end of the year to discover that it is within each and every one of us. It is abundant and timeless. You do not have to limit love to your family and partner. You can give love to anyone and anything and it doesn’t need to be the same love from the family and partner. It comes from being compassionate, being present, appreciating the being that they are and wishing them well.
In 2017, I got the chance to find love within myself and the moments when I experienced pure bliss, those moments were Love. I could feel it throughout my whole body and I would smile and jump and run. It wasn’t from anything that happened. Often it would be when I was outside but it was love for sure.
I will bring this into the new year and may every interaction I have, every challenge that comes towards me, be approached with love.
I just have to take note of how I felt half an hour ago. I was working and attending with a customer, I experienced this overwhelm of gratefullness that translated as tingles that spread all the way down my body. It came from a combination of thoughts that hit after one another- I’ve had the best month at work, I get to go home to have a lovely dinner with mum, I’ve been approaching every person and situation with love, I exercised, I feel fit, I am healthy, I have been feeling ultra-inspired with my new business and I am just one fucking lucky girl. I have shit, I have struggles going on, but amongst all of them, I get to feel these intense sensations that leave me feeling so high I don’t know how to describe.
This is my own reality and no one else’s.
As I sit here,
In this room, in my room.
With my thoughts, my judgements, my beliefs.
I remind myself that my ego,
the bigger, the inner,
will never be satisfied.
Hence I bring myself,
So I can be present again,
work at my craft again,
feel beautiful again,
Ever got the feeling when you’re flying so high, you’re momentarily in a good place, things feel balanced for once, like your health is good, you’re doing well at work, relationships are settled no drama, and out of no where, you get a sinking feeling or an unpleasant memory comes your way, bringing you back to the dark days- the time when you were lost, when you weren’t the best you, around energy depleting sources, you were sad, fearful, angry, hurt and you can’t help but attach yourself to these emotions. Today as my dad was driving me towards dinner around a familiar place, I felt old emotions come up that made me feel so unsettling, so sad, and frustrated and all I did was silently sit with them and really feel them. It felt like there were walls narrowing towards me as if my world was swallowing me up (but knew it would eventually spit me back out). And since I am fairly conscious to my thoughts, and know this is the ego at play, all I did was feel all the feelings, and allow them to pass.
Just before the new moon, I received a wave of creative energy so powerful I just could not lightly say ‘oh it was the new moon’. Really, whatever this force was, it came so evidently and left me with late nights writing up ideas for my videos, recording my videos, making moves with my business, cooking, planning, structuring my days, creating new habits. I am absolutely in love with life right now. And although each day comes with the lows- I place gratitude to wherever I am and my days go by so much easier. They are filled with love, even at work, and even when I am doing things I do not necessarily want to do. I make sure I conserve my energy, but always come from a place of love and divert my energy towards things that do light me up. Hence I notice my work to be so much more satisfying and well received.
Boy boy boy, at 3 pm today in the afternoon, the universe sure confirmed that everything happens in divine timing. I received two shocking news today, both at the same time- one good and the other one bad, both stemming from completely different scenarios. I was told I was rewarded something huge by my company given my successes in my professional life. At the same time, I received news about my past, specifically a time when I was in a dark place.
It was as if the universe was testing me, giving me a glimpse of the beautiful life I have ahead of me. To be honest, I feel it coming too. I can feel it, taste it, touch it every time I am outside- of possibility, of adventure, of success. I have been living in it after all. But I can also easily come back to that dark place- because I physically had been there, emotionally too and to an extent spiritually. It felt like the universe handed me these two situations to see which one I would put my energy towards. I remember receiving the good news like 3 seconds after the bad news which I couldn’t even take time to focus on. I was in my car and I placed a lot gratitude when I received the call from my manager as he excitedly informed me what I achieved and how proud everyone was to see me grow throughout the company. It really has been a blessing for me to work there. Is it strange to say I wasn’t surprised? Was this Law of Attraction at work here? I remember my intention to recieve the reward was momentary. I didn’t need it, I mean it sounded nice to have it as it was mentioned throughout the year, but I didn’t set goals to obtain it and just did my thing at work, meet my targets, get my commission and enjoy my time with my team members. Was I meant to have it all along?
Shortly after, I decided to sit with the bad news. It was something I had absolutely no control of, nothing of the sort that could harm me unless I allowed it to do so. And I couldn’t help but really feel it. It felt surreal. I was asking myself, how do I feel? I felt light headed, sorta dizzy, trying to picture the situation that happened, questioning things, inquiring others about the situation. I felt this more. The bad news that is. And dwelled on it throughout the night. As a human, it sure feels easier to sink into the bad stuff. I am okay now, as I know I am in a much better place than I have ever been before. I am healthy, I am conscious of my thoughts, really loving myself more, seeing my own truth and beauty and inspiring others along the way. I feel like I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. And I could’ve handled the bad news in so many other ways that would’ve lead me down a spiral of low vibration actions and emotions. However I choose to handle the bad news as best as I can, I choose to move forward, not look back and step into the path I was always meant for, to embody the person I’ve always wanted to be and to handle the situation with grace.