I’ve been told this by a couple of people now- that I am brave.
At first, I didn’t take it in as I just saw it as a friendly gesture, a compliment. But as I was told by another friend today, I took the time to acknowledge and reflect. You know what, I am pretty dam brave. I am not afraid to speak up and say the things I want. I am not afraid to do things that take me out of my comfort zone that I know will do me good. Now come to think of it, I come with part-control freak but also part faith. Some things I just leave it to utter faith and go with the flow. I didn’t even get scared or angry when someone chucked a rock at my windscreen, leaving evident damage and the need for replacement. Yes I got annoyed to the inconvenience and to the fact that I’m now a couple hundred dollars less in the bank but I didn’t get scared, I didn’t get angry and I didn’t hold onto those emotions for long. I promptly sorted it out and moved on. It wasn’t that I was trying to numb my emotions, I just didn’t feel like holding onto angry and negative thoughts that would just drain my energy, waste my time and put me on a low frequency. My work manager admired how elegantly I handled the situation.
Because you know, ever since I placed my trust and love to something bigger, call it the universe, call it source, I am assured by this larger entity that I will always be looked after, be safe and be loved.
Today I had one of those days where I wanted to place myself in uncertain situations without wearing any make-up on. I’ve been doing this more frequently given that my skin has been aggravated and I’m just sick of covering it up for over five years now (long term acne sufferer). And boy, did I have one of the best days in October. The energy and love I felt for myself was immense- one of complete gratitude and accomplishment. I felt 100% myself, natural, free and my skin felt like it could finally interact and balance itself out. I felt like I was having a conversation with my skin and it was literally thanking me for being brave, for sticking it out for the day so it could take some time to heal and balance itself. But today wasn’t like any other recent make-up free day where I would usually avoid and interact with as little people as possible. Today, I encountered conversations, caught up with my friend and spoke about my skin to the lady at the health food store. And on top of that, even though I have been majorly breaking out on my forehead and chin, I experienced moments of beauty within myself. I don’t know how else to describe it other than it came from a place of authenticity.
I am proud of myself.
By the way going make-up free came with few pleasant surprises. I noticed that when I was eating my lunch and in the process of wiping food around my mouth, I didn’t have to be cautious about wiping my make-up off (like I usually would) because I didn’t have any of it on in the first place. So I could freely wipe my mouth as much as I pleased. This may seem like nothing but I’m sure girls can relate and I was quite enlightened about this. Also, by the end of the day, I still felt clean as a baby. My face didn’t feel congested like it usually would, or I didn’t feel the need to immediately shower when I got home, because I still felt clean and fresh. Today I finally got to be one of those girls who go on about their day revealing their true, beautiful natural self and it was energizing, loving and liberating.